dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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