i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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