I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
