Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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