If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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