I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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