I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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