My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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