I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
