this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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