Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize