you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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