remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize