You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Your cock deserves a montage
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
