I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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