Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
