We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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