Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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