when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
