Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
