Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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