please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
