you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
