Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
