if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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