She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
