Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
