I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
