I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
