i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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