i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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