I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
