Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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