I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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