Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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