I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
