I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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