we have officially lost it.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
