Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
