So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize