we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
