if only i could text you this smell
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
