she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
