this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Please don't give away my fajitas
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
