I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
