Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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