defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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