i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
