lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
