He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize