got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
