TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
