Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
