Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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