marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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