How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
