I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You were trust falling into bushes
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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