Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
