Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
